I’ve hesitated to talk about physical preferences because I never want this to come across as a checklist or reduce connection to appearances. We are more than our bodies—and yet, we live in them. We love in them. We grow in them. We are—embodied. And the way we care for them says something about how we show up—for ourselves and for each other.

I’ve been on a long journey with health, fitness, and body image. I was the “fat kid” growing up, and even after losing weight in high school, it was still a part of how I saw myself. By my late 20s, I was the heaviest I’d ever been and felt stuck in cycles of shame and self-sabotage. It wasn’t until I hit a breaking point that things began to shift. I overhauled how I ate, how I moved, and—more than anything—how I saw myself. What started as a physical transformation became a much deeper one.

I’m looking to share life with someone who embodies that same mindset—who enjoys movement, values wellness, and lives in a way that supports long-term health and joy. Not for the sake of performance or perfection, but to live fully, freely, and with intention.

Someone who sees health as a way to live—not just a box to check. This isn’t about fitting into a certain size or aesthetic. There’s grace for the ebbs and flows—we all have them, myself included. But it’s the mindset that matters most.

I want a partner who’s not just active, but who lives in a way that supports long-term health, vitality, and energy. Let’s grow old well—active, capable, and vibrant.

I try not to be rigid, but there are a few things I know I need in order to build something meaningful.

Faith is foundational for me. If someone isn’t interested in Jesus or being part of a church community, we’re probably not on the same page long-term. I also know I want to be a dad someday—so if kids aren’t part of someone’s future, that’s a big disconnect.

Beyond that, I value emotional maturity, a growth mindset, and honest communication. We don’t need to have it all figured out, but I’m looking for someone who keeps showing up—with intention, ownership, and a desire to grow together. I’m looking for a woman who shares my faith, my values, and my vision for the future.

I’ve done—and continue to do—the inner work. Through therapy, faith, and honest reflection, I’ve come to know who I am, what I bring to a relationship, and what I’m truly looking for. I’m not chasing a fairytale. I’m ready for a partnership built on trust, commitment, and shared values. I want to build a life, a home, and a family with someone who’s just as intentional and just as ready.

To me, marriage is a covenant—not just a contract. It’s choosing each other daily, rooted in love, faith, trust, and grace. It means showing up in the highs and the lows, growing together, and being each other’s safe place. I picture a relationship full of laughter, deep connection, shared purpose, and plenty of affection—where we call out the best in each other, hold space for the hard stuff, and keep choosing love, even when it’s not easy.

I’m not looking for perfect.

I’m looking for real.

And that’s why I’m here.

This whole thing started because of a random article that popped up in my Google News feed. It was about people tired of dating apps who were trying something new: Date-Me Docs. Basically, it’s a personal dating profile outside the apps—usually a Google Doc or Notion page—shared directly or posted on social media.

Always up for something new (and committed to stepping out in my search for the right person), I loved the idea of moving beyond swipe culture and doing something more creative and intentional.

I found myself thinking:

What if we made it easier for the people who know me best to help make connections?

What if the process felt more personal, more thoughtful… and a lot more me?

At first, I toyed with making a spoof résumé. I’d done a rental résumé in the past and thought, Why not do the same for dating? But formatting it in a way that felt both playful and clean wasn’t clicking.

That’s when the thought hit:

What if I just built my own site?

Something from the ground up that actually reflects who I am and what I’m really about. Something free from 360-character bios and pre-set prompts that never quite tell the whole story.

So, I bought the domain, started building—and here we are.

DateJoel.com started as an experiment, but it quickly became something more. A bold step toward clarity and connection. It cuts through the noise, gives people a clearer picture of who I am, and opens the door for thoughtful introductions from the people who already see the bigger picture.

It’s unconventional. And yeah, maybe a little extra—but so am I.

If I’m going to put myself out there, I want it to reflect my heart, my humor, and my hope for something real.

And hopefully, something I’ve shared here will resonate with her in a way that sparks curiosity and connection.